Stuff and Things

idontgettechnology:

cacopheny:

amarriageoftrueminds:

rainnecassidy:

melannen:

rgfellows:

taraljc:

rgfellows:

I don’t get how some people in the MCU Fandom claim that Steve must have a crap ton of money

I think the logic is “military back pay + 70 years interes + licensing his image for film/television/merch, as arranged by Howard Stark and Margaret Carter, way back when they founded S.H.I.E.L.D.”?

But I don’t get it because I’m pretty sure that Cap was officially declared dead?
I don’t think that dead people still get backpay? Unless they decided to give him backpay when he turned out to be alive, although I don’t see the US government being that generous.

People writing Steve having a lot of money, I presume, are working on the assumption that he was declared MIA, and then treated like a returned MIA/POW when he was found alive. Returned POWs - regardless of whether they were declared dead while missing - are entitled to all their back pay, including extra hazardous duty pay and living allowances.

It’s possible Cap wouldn’t even have been declared dead; the military is very hesitant to declare MIAs - which is pretty much any active duty soldier whose body was never recovered - dead without proof, unless there’s pressure from the family, and Cap doesn’t have any family left. So whether he was declared dead or still officially MIA is a probably a balancing act between political forces who wanted closure for mythmaking purposes, and Howard Stark who’s still searching for him.

(This is mildly iffy, given that the US military doesn’t have procedures in place for “MIA, later found in suspended animation in the Arctic ice”, but given that it’s Captain America, I don’t think they would fight too hard over treating him as a returned POW. And Bucky had *better* count as a POW, so he’d get his accumulated back pay too, although it would be somewhat less, since he was a noncom rather than a captain.)

I went through historical military pay tables, and using this list of POW/MIA entitlements calculated that he would have something around $2,000,000 in back pay waiting for him (probably more - I assumed he hadn’t been promoted beyond Captain, which is fairly unlikely since MIAs are eligible for promotion and it’s Captain America, and whenever I was unsure how to calculate something, I went for the lesser value. Also it’s entirely likely the Commandos were getting some kind of extra special duty pay, which I didn’t factor in beyond standard hazardous duty/hostile fire pay.)

I didn’t look up Bucky’s in any detail, but as a Sergeant he’d be making about half what a Captain made, so he probably has at least $1,000,000. (He would likely have been MIA as well, since no body was recovered, unless his surviving family pushed for him to be declared dead - the US Military is *really passionate* about recovering all the bodies, and leaving people MIA until they find them.)

That’s assuming they were given just base pay, without interest. I am not sure how the interest is handled for returned POWs who were declared dead, but a POW-not-declared-dead has his pay either go to his dependents/power-of-attorney, or put in an interest-bearing account handled by the Secretary of the Treasury. Steve has no dependents, so it would likely either have been handled by the Secretary of the Treasury or Howard Stark would have managed to get it put in a privately-managed trust (because let’s face it, Howard Stark can do anything he wants.)

Interest could be tricky, but since it was relatively simple to calculate and it’s probably what he would have done if he was alive, I assumed it was all invested in $1,000 US savings bonds (and then not reinvested after maturity.) Which, again, is pretty much a minimum - any actively-managed investment account would probably have made substantially more than that, and Howard Stark would facepalm forever at the idea of investing solely in US Savings Bonds - if it was all put in, say, Stark Industries stock it could be arbitrarily higher.

But assuming U.S. Savings Bonds interest rates, his $2,000,000 *minimum* back pay would have increased to about $7,500,000 by 2011. (Bucky’s, again, would probably be something like half that - say $4,000,000.) I wouldn’t be surprised if a less conservative and more accurate accounting put him well into eight digits.

So he’s not going to be competing with Tony Stark in the big bucks competition, but he can easily do stuff like buy people new SUVs or take a couple years off to travel the world searching for Bucky just on his MIA back pay, without having to look at other income sources.

This is accurate, yes.  And even if Steve WAS declared dead, well, once he was present and accounted for, they’d have to change his status from KIA to MIA, at which point the whole back pay thing would come into play again.

A commenter on one of my works pointed out that with automatic promotions and such, Steve is at minimum a full Colonel and probably more like a Major General.  This would mean that he would have been owed several millions of dollars in back pay, and is drawing a current salary of minimum $17,182.50 per month (including allowances).

Based on that, it’s very likely that Bucky would have been promoted by now to Command Sergeant Major.  This would also leave him owed several millions of dollars in back pay, as well as a current active duty salary of - if I am calculating this properly - $9,359 per month (including allowances). 

So yes, based on real-world How The Military Works facts and the canon provided in the movies, Steve and Bucky both are never going to have to worry about money again.

Also as a probable Medal of Honor recipient, if Steve officially retired he would get an added pension of $1,388 a month (that’s on top of what he’s already owed), an $841 clothing allowance, and a 10% bump in retirement pay. 

I knew this was a thing in fanfic but never saw the actual reason for it. this is cool!

Good news! The US Army actually did confirm this one for us, fam:

https://www.tor.com/2016/05/12/army-confirms-that-captain-america-would-be-eligible-for-66-years-worth-of-back-pay/

xxxloatmilklatte-deactivated202:

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parhelics:

peterssquill:

peterssquill:

so professor hulk is obviously a celebrity post snap, right? and it was a bunch of kids that came over and asked for a pic, right? consider: bruce banner is the bill nye of their generation and has his own tv show enaging kids in science and occasionally throwing stuff really far for demonstrative purposes

bruce: today we have a very special guest. please give a very warm welcome to the asgardian god of thunder, and my good friend thor!!

thor, wearing the cheesiest thor costume possible, hair Wild, brandishing stormbreaker, absolutely booming: THOU READY TO LEARN OF ELECTROSTATIC DISCHARGE??

same energy

daroos:

musesofthetower:

thefreegladelancer:

capbuckyrogers:

thetaikawaititi:

the first avenger: dr. erskine said that the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. create a protective system of regeneration and healing.

age of ultron: thor establishes that steve is not mortal.

endgame: we’re just gonna ignore all of that, and make steve old af to shock the audience, even though it doesn’t make sense that steve would age at all, let alone at the same rate as a non-enhanced human, because what happened in previous movies is meaningless.

that’s some good tea right there

Steve is hiding behind a nearby tree and trying not to laugh as the old guy he paid gives Sam the shield

“Wanna tell me about the girl?”

Old guy who wasnt told about a girl slightly shitting himself “No…I dont think I will.”

ok but imagine the craigslist ad:

Washington DC > services > services for hire

“wanted elderly white male (70+) to troll childhood friend into thinking I traveled back in time and am now old. Poker face a plus, as is striking resemblance to Paul Newman”

thelastjedicritical:

alltingfinns:

thelastjedicritical:

mwagneto:

mwagneto:

jesus fucking christ look at all these fragile pieces of shit who can’t watch a movie with women and poc in them I'm💀💀💀

everyone who’s commenting “haha wouldn’t that leave like 5 minutes of the movie then😂😂” is missing the point SO hard

no, it wouldn’t. cutting all the female characters, poc and gay “rep” is actually….pretty easy. this guy did it and it’s still a solid movie.

you guys are giving marvel WAY too much credit. They don’t give a shit about representation, they don’t give a shit about you - the only thing they care about is money and looking Woke™

they did that by advertising how “progressive” they are for adding the first openly gay character ever!! let’s see when we can get an openly gay main character. or at least, dare I suggest, one that has a name.

they did that by hyping carol the fuck up and then only using her for 3 scenes

they did that by putting all the female characters in one shot for a Girl Power UwU scene; “oh look at us! we have all these female characters in one shot! we don’t hate women” isn’t that sad? that you can fit all your girls into one single shot? that despite your claims, all the girls combined still only have 116 minutes of screentime while the men have almost 400? isn’t that fucking pathetic?

it is. and look at this douche, look at all the assholes out there, this doesn’t mean SHIT to them, they take half an hour out of their day and cut a few scenes and boom - everything marvel claims is “progressive” is gone. none of their fake wokeness is important to the plot.

the gay character? who even is he?

T'challa and his family? their ~ 1 minute of screentime is easily cut

Sam becoming Cap? Where will we see that? In the show? Right. This person cut the scene and did that change the plot of endgame? the answer is no.

Carol? not much to cut since she was barely there

Natasha? The only thing she was good for is to die

Pepper? housewife. All he needed to do was cut the scenes where Tony washes the dishes and talks to Pepper, and cut Rescue’s, what, 20 seconds of screentime? and boom. ideal female, right?

Valkyrie? Oh she’s there alright, in the background, doing jack shit until Thor calls her queen in one scene, but does that scene mean anything? Do any of her scenes mean anything? Not to them. 10 seconds is all it takes and her scenes are all gone.

Nebula? kidnapped. dead

Gamora? insignificant. cut

you can’t mock this dude because “haha he has no movie left now 😂”. you gotta mock, no, hate marvel because that’s just the thing - he does. not a single poc or woman or lgbt person did anything that, if they left it out, the movie would make no sense.

and that’s just what he did. and yes, he’s pathetic for it, but don’t think marvel gives a single fuck about you. they don’t.

Aaaand someone said it … every single time a dude can make such a cut and the movie still makes sense, the movie has failed.

New rule: If you can cut all minority characters and women without losing plot coherency it is a failure. We can call it the Rian-Russo effect.

Reblogging again for the Rian-Russo effect!

gritsinmisery:

darklingdawns:

infinitrinx:

sweetsigyn:

I desperately want to see a scene with Thor and Loki where they have to remove all of their weapons. Thor puts down Mjolnir while we spend the next 5 minutes watching Loki remove most of his knives.

AND WE HAVE THAT TROPE where knives are definitely where they SHOULDNT be or IS LITERALLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE. And with each passing blade the intimidating edges and intricate designs get scarier and scarier. And somehow THE KNIVES KEEP COMING????????? How??????

The how is that half of those knives aren’t real, just illusions that Loki cast cos the shit wanted to see the guard’s face when he pulled out a ridiculous number of weapons (he kept his real daggers, yes the smol ones, hidden on himself still.)

When he pulls out a knife during the meeting, the guard just gawks while everyone panics, “HOW THE HELL DO YOU STILL HAVE KNIVES WHAT THE FUCK??”

Bonus points for Thor spending the entire time Loki’s pulling knives out of everywhere and nowhere studying his nails and being very obviously Done With It All. See, he knows his brother - his brother’s ALWAYS got knives, he keeps them in his little pockets of magical space, but they’ll humor the people they’re having the meeting with, so Thor waits. Then when Loki pulls out the knife in the meeting and everyone’s all about the panicking, there’s a loud sigh from Thor and an exasperated, “Lokiiii…” and that’s when Loki goes “Oh, all right,” (as only Hiddles can) and makes the knife disappear. But for the rest of the meeting, everyone knows Loki can access a knife anytime he wants to, so they’re all on edge and they basically agree to whatever the hell Thor and Loki ask for, if only so they can get these fuckers out of here. 

And then in the elevator, on the way back down, Loki turns to Thor and says brightly, “Much better than Get Help!”

I’d also like to see a scene where Black Widow is in the party, so she and Loki take turns revealing a concealed weapon, except Natasha isn’t magic and you can see Loki start to sweat and look concerned just a tiiiiiny bit as she keeps revealing one weapon after another, because he’d run out of real ones ages ago and is starting to run out of ideas for imaginary ones. He can’t copy any of hers; that’d just be admitting defeat.

So, I’m watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, and I casually glance over during the end credits…

Why is the Grandmaster dancing in the wrong movie? (I mean, I know why, but how come I never noticed before?)

marvelsince1947:

Finally some justice

geekybibliophile:

holdmecloseandfast:

singelisilverslippers:

alyharania:

singelisilverslippers:

ifeelbetterer:

galwednesday:

afearsomecritter:

peterssquill:

museum curator, watching steve waltz into the smithsonian, the memory of having the stolen cap america authentic howling commando era uniform returned dirty and ridden with bullet holes still fresh in their mind: hide the VALUABLES

steve, reaching over the rope to poke at something on display: it’s my goddamn stuff???

#I work with enough  museum curators to be able to accurately picture their looks of absolute dead-eyed horror#at this meat-handed man pawing through the objects they’ve spent decades preserving#BUT ALSO IT’S HIS GODDAMN STUFF#so the mental image of the incredibly stiff and stilted surface-level polite conversation Steve would have with Smithsonian staff#both of them vibrating with indignation but unable to fully express it for PR reasons#is an endless source of entertainment for me via galwedenesday

#ah yes #the joys of attempting to figure out how to deaccession a bunch of shit#that previously belonged in the ‘no living claims’ category#and has for DECADES #what i would not give to see that paper trail tho#like was everything of Steve’s now owned by the Army upon being declared KIA and they donated it to the Smithsonian or what#MINUTIAE OF MUSEUM WORK IN THE MCU I WANT TO KNOW DAMMIT#like the museum has HAD to have dealt with fraudulent claims before so they’d have everything but ‘The Actual Original Owner’ showing up#locked down #okay but also #how long have they had this shit#when was any of this declassified via afearsomecritter

I’M SAYIN’, every single level of management at the Smithsonian must have had an extensively well-documented migraine after dealing with the colossal shitshow raised by such thrilling items as “sock (woolen)” pulled from the pack of one “Rogers, Steve G., 1918 - 1945 lol whoops he’s back″

#okay but where is the fic#where is the story about a beleaguered smithsonian curator named michelle who one day realizes she has ’S. Rogers’ on her schedule#which was made after her boss had a screaming match with somebody named Carlson or Coulson or Colton or something#which happened after that reaaaaaaal embarrassing ‘break-in’ which is in quotes#because fucking KYLE just LET Rogers IN#and when very nicely asked why the fuck he did that KYLE#said ‘i mean he’s captain america right? it’s his stuff isn’t it??’#and michelle’s boss went off to murder someone#and michelle just sighed and had josh bring kyle some coffee#and explained to kyle that no she really did have to fire him#he’s been a great security guard but he literally had one job to do#but then the day AFTER that#fucking KYLE comes waltzing back in with a fucking LETTER#from fucking CAPTAIN AMERICA#asking if ms. michelle onadiche could see her way to reinstating FUCKING KYLE#in exchange for ‘the property belonging to S. Rogers and housed at the Smithsonian Museum for purposes of edification to the public#and michelle very carefully puts her head on the desk and wonders who taught Steve Rogers to use ‘ms’ so meanly#anyway I’m just saying #avengers shmavengers (tags by @leupagus)

#SO LIKE HERE’S THE FUN THING  #the smithsonian doesn’t deaccession A N Y T H I N G  #they have things that are rotting to pieces and old plastic destroying itself and RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL that any SANE MUSEUM would have  #GOTTEN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE  #but because it’s PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES GUMMINT due to it being the national museum (system thing)  #you can’t throw away so much as a paperclip #if it’s been accessioned  #(there’s a paperclip collection at american history don’t @ me)#(american history is america’s junk drawer it’s hell on earth)  #so steve would be like ‘hey that’s my stuff’ and the smithsonian would start S W E A T I N G  B U L L E T S  #because deaccessioning captain america’s personal belongings? is basically steve rogers stealing government property  #which he does! all the time!  #but they aren’t supposed to let him do that  #and the paperwork is going to be: the worst  #and possibly require an act of congress  #and also FINDING IT IN AMERICAN HISTORY OOOOOH MY GOD like three years after  #THE COLLECTIONS CALAMITY WE DO NOT SPEAK OF (but that we all got published for thank fuck we got something out of it)  #someone finds like a stash of photos and a map and a few trinkets in a cabinet  #that had gotten lost in collection  #‘we have to tell him!’ says the intern who found it  #so earnest! so young! so in grad school!  #‘we absolutely the fuck do not’ hisses michelle who will HAPPILY live out the rest of her days if steven fucking rogers NEVER  #DARKENS HER DOOR AGAIN  #the intern squeals obviously  #michelle fantasizes about murdering her and also captain america throughout the entire process and it almost gets her through  #the textile conservator who initially had to process the captain america suit after he ‘returned’ it the first time still hisses angrily at  #*steve like a cat whenever he walks by  #…this got away from me (via @alyharania)

like i said in my initial reblog… all the people building stories out of this make me laugh with delight, but smithsonian & dc museum people adding their tags give me LIFE

… also steven grant rogers would be KIND and COURTEOUS to the front-line museum staff and not ask them stupid questions and you will pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch

oh steven grant rogers is KIND and POLITE and CONSIDERATE to front-line museum staff, he will politely move himself to the side so he doesn’t cause traffic issues if he gets recognized and a couple kids want pictures, he apologizes to security for causing a scene (he didn’t mean to! he thought his baseball cap disguise would work, bless him). he returns his maps (sweet and so unnecessary but then one of the volunteers can take a map captain america used and will probably sign for them back to their grandkids so that’s nice). the docents LOVE him; he’s both a Nice Young Man and also from Back in Their Day.

the collections and conservation staff however have sworn a blood oath of pure vengeance against him and nothing he ever does will change their minds. the textile conservator (we’ll call her lorraine) who had to restore the old captain america suit spent THREE YEARS OF HER LIFE on that stupid thing and it’s still too unstable to ever exhibit again. lorraine went through FIVE INTERNS, two of whom CRIED ON HER. she had to spend a fourth year making a replica because everyone was writing their representatives that the captain america suit wasn’t on display and they MADE HER DO IT.

like if steve thought any debrief in wwii he ever had sucked lol try lorraine, who has given up trying to catalogue what the fuck happened to that piece of shit suit and finally tracked down his cell phone number after six months of this hell project out of sheer bloody mindness and desperation and tricks him into her office through a series of absolute goddamn lies about idk public programming or some shit that steve might actually care about and then corners him and makes him give her a play by play of what, exactly, the fuck he did to that suit.

cuz, okay, listen. blah blah save the world blah blah, but steven grant rogers* stole a priceless museum artifact, bled on it, set it on fire, dropped it into the potomac, dragged it (WHILE WET) through river mud and god knows how many plants and bugs and microbes, got melting plastic and metal and shrapnel and other people’s body juices and skin and hair embedded in it–the only reason he lives is because he can give the full and accurate account of what the fuck he did to it and answer questions of how the fuck it can be slightly, slightly unfucked. not saved! not made to look like it was! certainly not able to be put on a mannequin and exhibited again! but like she can get some more of the mud and that chunk of charred plastic out maybe. otherwise, lorraine would have murdered that dumb bitch in a fit of justifiable rage, and no amount of charming “sorry ma’am”s would fucking save him.

#I LOVE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH ALL MY HEART BUT IF I WAS THE MYTHIC LORRAINE#(who doesn’t exist because american history hates their costume and textile collection lolololol)#I WOULD STRANGLE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH MY MEASURING TAPE AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL#*also yes i realize bucky barnes; hydra; etc. where also responsible for What The Fuck Happened To That Suit but steven grant rogers#would take responsibility for what happened to it#it’s not FAIR but also he’s a martyr#(the replica suit goes on display four years later and a scruffy guy with one arm and long hair is at the opening reception#kinda squinting at it#lorraine has already had like two cocktails because SHE’S DONE MOTHERFUCKERS NEW PROJECTS 4 HER#and he seems kinda nice #until she sees steve fucking rogers walk up to him#and overhears one arm dude say ‘didn’t i shoot you in that thing?’#she doesn’t get to hear steve explain that ‘ms. lorraine made a replica’ and ‘she’s brilliant’ and kind of scary#‘she said it wasn’t safe to put the old one on display so she made a new one’#because a red mist of rage has descended over her eyes#because she knows now who was responsible for the fucking bullet holes and all that FUCKING crusted blood and all that FUCKING MUD#her current intern#who is VERY excited about the new project they have preparing all the peggy carter mannequins for the SHIELD exhibit in three years#and is pretty sure they aren’t going to be able to intern if lorraine gets arrested#steers her back outside the gallery and back to the drinks and appetizers#michelle pats the new intern on the arm#‘you’ll go far young padawan’ she says and makes murder eyes at a polite looking steve rogers#who detours to chat with a docent instead) (via @alyharania)

that’s it imma marry this post

I wanna write this as an enemies to lovers fic because these are legitimate reasons to become enemies with a person without either person being bad people.

@zombeesknees

phdna:

backroad-bros:

shinysoroka:

My favorite Ragnarok headcanon is that the entire movie is a story Thor is telling the audience. That’s why it opens with a monologue, that’s also the reason of the sudden tone shift into comedy and that’s why despite all the horrible things that happen, it’s so endlessly optimistic. The real events that transpired were probably very similar, just much, much darker. 

This really explains so much, like how characters like Loki and Hulk, and Thor himself, are so different from the other films- because we’re seeing them through Thor’s eyes. The dialogue is different as well, much more casual and shorthand with use of slang in place of the typical Shakespearean lines, because Thor is paraphrasing in his retelling of the events. I like to imagine that Thor’s audience is actually the asgardians on the ark at the end of the film, mostly families and children, so he’s ramping up the goofiness and drama (you are now meeting the grandmaster, please dont cut my hair, get help), using childish humor (the naked hulk), and poking fun at everything (surtur’s big eyebrow). They were all just extremely traumatized, so Thor is taking care of his people in the only way he currently can- taking comedy theatre tips from loki. 

Headcanon accept so much I’m probably gonna forget it’s not canon